Mutual Regard
When is the last time you talked to someone and they didn’t say they WEREN’T busy?!
A conversation usually goes like this:
“How are you guys?”
“Oh you know, we’ve got such n such going on and then there’s such n such coming up. We’re runnin’ from one thing to the next.”
“Oh I know. We are so busy too.”
It’s so common place that we come to expect people to say they are busy. And we think nothing of it when we say how busy we are.
But we should.
When’s the last time you WEREN’T hurrying to get somewhere? Didn’t have adrenaline rushing through your veins on the way to work or to drop off your kiddos?
All this being busy and hurrying everywhere reeks havoc on our nervous system. It keeps us in stress mode. And that effects EVERY system in us – immune system, digestive…you name it.
And our children???
Our children’s generation is the first to be so darn rushed all the time from a young age on. What do we think is going to be the impact on our children’s developing brains, hearts, bodies, and relationships to be so hurried all the time, to be so in stress mode all the time???
Well the other night, I had enough. I had enough of treating the clock as a god. I had enough of hurrying my kiddos to eat breakfast and get out the door and into the car to go to school. I was appalled at how the doctor and nurse (though knowledgable and kind) hurried our daughter through her three-year old check up with rushed hands — and how they probably did this with every other child that day and no other parent thought ANYTHING of it. Why? Because we are used to it! We are used to our bodies and presence not being regarded as sacred.
Well, enough, I said.
Sitting at the breakfast table…late…I looked around and I thought, “this is crazy. Our culture has lost all regard for honoring the sacredness of the body, for reverencing and honoring its flow. I refuse to teach my children to not honor their bodies. Let them sleep. Let them eat. Peacefully. And Brian and I are doing nothing for our relationship with our kiddos to be on them and hurrying them. Enough. I call for a family ban on being busy and in a hurry.”
Maybe it’s this mid-life shift thing I’m going through (it’s not a crisis and it’s not an awakening. I’m awake. Now I’m just takin’ action n shiftin’ stuff. Big time.). I’m taking more responsibility for MY life and how I want to live it. No one else is going to be at my deathbed with me and the divine.
It’s going to be me and the Big G reflecting back on my life and asking, “Did I love fully? Did I live fully?”
It won’t be: “Did I get the kiddos to soccer practice on time?”
Instead I’ll recall images of me and Brian being present with our children. I’ll recall regarding them and seeing, really SEEING, their needs…and responding to them. I’ll recall holding Little C. for awhile longer even though we are late for a playdate. I’ll recall letting Big A. sleep in, leisurely being with him (with my eyes, my attention, my tone of voice), and then going to school. I’ll recall the times I remembered what is most important.
So it’ll take some time (ha!) to get the busy and the hurry out of our nervous systems. But I am committing myself to “the ban on busy”. I’m committing myself to not being in a hurry. To slowing it all down. And really, there is no time to be in a rush. Life is precious. Short and precious.
Credits: This is a post written by Lisa McCrohan. Lisa is a psychotherapist, writer, and mindfulness and yoga teacher who values the latest research in neurobiology, the ancient wisdom of the sages, and the “from-the-trenches” wisdom of other mamas. She works both at her private practice and Georgetown University as their Wellness Counselor offering psychotherapy and workplace wellness for faculty and staff. This has been reposted with permission. You can find the original post here.
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