In Praise Of Older Women

Older Women

One of the perks of dufferdom is an increased capacity to appreciate people. Friends. Spouses. And, for me, women. All women.

When I was 20, I had eyes only for girls my age. Any woman over 30 was ancient, over 40 invisible. Today, at 65, I still appreciate the 20-year-old for her youthful looks, vigor, and (occasional) sweet innocence. But I equally enjoy women of my own age and beyond, and every age in between. I’ve learned that each has its own special wonders, attractions, magic and beauty.

As I grow in age, I value older women most of all. Here are just a few of the reasons senior men sing the praises of older women:

An older woman will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?” An older woman doesn’t care what you think.

An older woman knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants, and from whom. By the age of 50, few women are wishy-washy. About anything. Thank God!

An older woman looks great wearing bright red lipstick even in glaring sunlight. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.

And yes, once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is far sexier than her younger counterpart!

Her libido’s stronger.

Her fear of pregnancy gone.

Her appreciation of experienced lovemaking is honed and reciprocal.

And she’s lived long enough to know how to please a man in ways her daughter could never dream of. (Young men, you have something to look forward to!)

Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off that you are a jerk if you’re acting like one. A young woman will say nothing, caring what you might think of her. An older woman doesn’t give a damn.

An older, single woman usually has had her fill of “meaningful relationships” and “commitment.” Can’t relate? Can’t commit? She could care less. The last thing she needs in her life is another dopey, clingy, whiny, dependent lover!

Older women are dignified. They seldom contemplate having a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

Most older women cook well. They care about cleanliness. They’re generous with praise, often undeserved.

An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A young woman with a man often will ignore even her best friend because she doesn’t trust the guy with other women. The older woman couldn’t care less.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an older woman. They always just know.

Yes, we geezers praise older women for a multitude of reasons. These are but a few. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coifed babe of 70 there’s a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize for us. That men are genetically inferior is no secret. Count your blessings that we die off at a far younger age, leaving you the best part of your lives to enjoy and appreciate the exquisite woman you’ve become. Without the distraction of some demanding old fart clinging and whining his way into your serenity.

Credit: This piece has been authored by One of the perks of dufferdom is an increased capacity to appreciate people. Friends. Spouses. And, for me, women. All women.

When I was 20, I had eyes only for girls my age. Any woman over 30 was ancient, over 40 invisible. Today, at 65, I still appreciate the 20-year-old for her youthful looks, vigor, and (occasional) sweet innocence. But I equally enjoy women of my own age and beyond, and every age in between. I’ve learned that each has its own special wonders, attractions, magic and beauty.

As I grow in age, I value older women most of all. Here are just a few of the reasons senior men sing the praises of older women:

An older woman will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?” An older woman doesn’t care what you think.

An older woman knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants, and from whom. By the age of 50, few women are wishy-washy. About anything. Thank God!

An older woman looks great wearing bright red lipstick even in glaring sunlight. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.

And yes, once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is far sexier than her younger counterpart!

Her libido’s stronger.

Her fear of pregnancy gone.

Her appreciation of experienced lovemaking is honed and reciprocal.

And she’s lived long enough to know how to please a man in ways her daughter could never dream of. (Young men, you have something to look forward to!)

Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off that you are a jerk if you’re acting like one. A young woman will say nothing, caring what you might think of her. An older woman doesn’t give a damn.

An older, single woman usually has had her fill of “meaningful relationships” and “commitment.” Can’t relate? Can’t commit? She could care less. The last thing she needs in her life is another dopey, clingy, whiny, dependent lover!

Older women are dignified. They seldom contemplate having a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

Most older women cook well. They care about cleanliness. They’re generous with praise, often undeserved.

An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A young woman with a man often will ignore even her best friend because she doesn’t trust the guy with other women. The older woman couldn’t care less.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an older woman. They always just know.

Yes, we geezers praise older women for a multitude of reasons. These are but a few. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coifed babe of 70 there’s a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize for us. That men are genetically inferior is no secret. Count your blessings that we die off at a far younger age, leaving you the best part of your lives to enjoy and appreciate the exquisite woman you’ve become. Without the distraction of some demanding old fart clinging and whining his way into your serenity.

Credit: This piece has been written by Frank Kaiser. A version of this is going around with the misattribution to Andy Rooney.

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