60º Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one).
50º Miami residents turn on the heat.
40º You can see your breath, Californians shiver uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming.
32º Water freezes.
30º You plan your vacation to Australia.
25º Californians weep pitiably, Minnesotans eat ice cream, Canadians go swimming.
20º Politicians begin to talk about the homeless, Miami residents plan vacation further South.
15º Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.
10º You need jumper cables to get the car going.
0º Alaskans put on T-shirts.
-10º Eyes freeze shut when you blink.
-15º You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo, Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects.
-18 Miami residents cease to exist.
-20º Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you, Politicians actually do something about the homeless.
-25º Too cold to think, You need jumper cables to get the driver going.
-30º You plan a two week hot bath.
-40º Californians disappear, Minnesotans button top button, Canadians put on sweaters.
-45 Your car helps you plan your trip South.
-50º Congressional hot air freezes, Alaskans close the bathroom window.
-80º Hell freezes over, Polar bears move South.
-90º Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.
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