MyLifeYoga

I squirmed impatiently in my seat as I waited for the parenting expert to finish his talk at my children’s school. I was eager to go up to the lectern to ask my personal question: How could I get my two older children to stop bickering all the time? His answer surprised me at first, but upon reflection, it fit perfectly into what I had learned through my study of yoga.

He suggested that I pay more attention to my own growth and self-awareness. He suggested that if I was clear and present with each child and each situation, the choices I would make would be the “right” ones. I was initially taken aback by the power of this answer, but tried his advice by re-dedicating myself to the study and practice of yoga, meditation, and other self-awareness techniques as a priority in my life. Not only did this eventually help the situation of the fighting kids, albeit indirectly, it also became the foundation which shaped most of my parenting decisions.

Being a parent is primarily just being in relationship with another human being, an amazing, at times difficult, and yet precious person, who happens to be my child. In order for that relationship to be what I want it to be, I have continued to learn that the most important thing I can choose is to be clear within myself. I need to be clear about who I am, about what my choices and priorities and values are, and then I try to live those choices in compassion and love. This does not mean that occasionally I do not feel angry, disappointed or confused in response to what my children say or do, or by what I say or do as a parent. It does mean that I try to remember that my children and I are at the same time expressions of the Divine and yet totally fallible human beings. Continue reading →

“Yogah Chitta Vritti Nirodha”. This is the second sloka (stanza) in the first chapter of Patanjali’s Yoga Sutra. This sutra provides the definition of yoga: it says that yoga is the cessation of the modification of the mind. This means that the goal of yoga is to reach a state of mind that is so focused that the constant chatter of thoughts is bought to a complete halt.

The question then is: if yoga is connected with thoughts, why is practicing of yoga-postures part of yoga? Why did Patanjali make Asana (or Yoga Postures) one of the eight limbs of yoga? What is the connection between yoga-postures and thoughts?

To answer this we have to first ask the question: Can stress have an impact on thoughts? The impact of thoughts on stress is well known. Just by thinking we can create stress in our body. This is easy to demonstrate. Close your eyes and think for a minute of a situation where you felt insulted (or embarrassed). You will soon find that your heart rate and blood pressure has gone up, and you are sweating and flushed. Just by thinking you were able to cause your body to generate stress hormones! But the question being asked here is the reverse. It is not about thoughts affecting stress, but about stress affecting thoughts.

The key insight here is that bad stress is a “Thought Bender”. Bad stress can bend thoughts so that they bend inwards to create an endless cycle of thoughts. The presence of bad stress causes you mind to generate an endless cycle of thoughts where each thought feeds the next one in an endless unproductive cycle. This can lead to a cycle of worry, anxiety, anger, angst, or other negative emotions.

A mind that is flooded with stress will not be able to concentrate or focus. Some of these thoughts can in turn generate additional stress and create a positive feedback loop. When this happens, it is very difficult to break out of the cycle and the situation can best be described as a “Stress Trap”.

Thus from the point of view of yoga it is important to counter the “thought-bender” aspect of stress. This is done by countering stress itself. This is why Patanjali included Asana or yoga-postures as a separate limb in his 8-limb yoga system. Patanjali knew that the practice of yoga-postures would counter stress. This in turn would free the mind up because, in the absence of stress. the mind would be able to function normally and there would be no thought-bending taking place that then generates endless cycles of thought.

All of us can be helped by this new insight, even if we have no interest in the deeper goal of yoga. So no matter what your profession or your interest is, you can greatly benefit if your mind is freed from the thought-bending aspect of stress. When this happens you can benefit from increased focus and increased creativity along with lower anxiety and worry.

When the mind is freed from the last thought bender it truly becomes happy, free and boundless. Its thoughts are now in harmony with the deepest wisdom of the universe and limitless creativity, love, and harmony flow out. The question now is: are you ready to free your mind of its last thought-bender?

Many of you may have heard this story, but I was thinking of it recently and wanted to share this time old tale as a reminder for us to “take a step up”.

Once upon a time, a farmer’s donkey fell down into a well that the farmer had accidentally left uncovered. The donkey cried and cried, and the farmer tried to figure out a way to get the donkey out of the deep hole, however, the sides were too unstable to lower someone down with a rope to tie around the donkey, and as the donkey was panicky and thrashing about, he was concerned he or one of his farm hands might be injured and stuck down the hole too.

The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway, so it just wasn’t worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited his neighbors to come and help, so they all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.

As he felt the dirt falling on him, the donkey, being a donkey, kicked and kicked. When that didn’t seem to help, he brayed and brayed. Once the piles of dirt hit the donkey, the animal found renewed energy, and brayed even louder than he had before. The men turned their eyes from one another and pretended not to hear the donkey’s pleadings. The donkey kicked up a fuss and made a terrible commotion, but no one came to help. The donkey cried, but as he tired and began to understand the hopelessness of its situation, he began to give up, and got quiet, and then he realized something amazing was happening.

The donkey realized that the dirt was a gift. With each scoop of dirt that fell into the well, the donkey shook off any that landed on it and then took a step up onto the top of the pile of dirt forming at the bottom of the well. More dirt, another shake and another step up.

The men kept shoveling; certain that they were burying the poor donkey. But as they were shoveling, the donkey was shaking off the dirt and stomping it into the ground below him. With every shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey shook the dirt off and took a step up. As the men continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, the donkey would shake it off and take a step up. The men were busy shoveling so they didn’t notice what was happening.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer and neighbours finally looked down the well and was astonished at what they saw. The men were quite surprised to see the donkey, looking right straight at them. It was standing on top of all that dirt that had been dropped on it. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off!

This story of the donkey in the well is timeless, and has circulated for a while. Its message is timeless, as many of us have found ourselves stuck in a situation where we just didn’t know to get through. The metaphorical dirt was poured over our heads, and we got buried by the problems, or we shook the dirt to the ground and rise above the circumstances. Continue reading →