God And Adam

God And Adam

God said, ‘Adam, I want you to do something for me.’

Adam said, ‘Gladly, Lord, what do you want me to do?’

God said, ‘Go down into that valley.’

Adam said, ‘What’s a valley?’

God explained it to him. Then God said, ‘Cross the river.’

Adam said, ‘What’s a river?’

God explained that To him, and then said, ‘Go over to the hill…’

Adam said, ‘What is a hill?’

So, God explained to Adam what a hill was. He told Adam, ‘On the other side of the hill you will find a cave.’

Adam said, ‘What’s a cave?’

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Happy 102nd Birthday!

Its fun time. Grandma just turned 102! But you know why she is going strong when it’s time to blow the candle and she is unfazed by what happens next!

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Russ And Sam

Russ And Sam

Russ and Sam, two friends, very old and frail, met in the park every day to feed the birds, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.

One day Russ didn’t show up. Sam didn’t think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something. But after Russ hadn’t shown up for a week or so, Sam really got worried.

However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Sam didn’t know where Russ lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Sam figured he had seen the last of Russ, but one day, Sam approached the park and — lo and behold! — there sat Russ! Sam was very excited and happy to see him and told him so.

Then he said, “For crying out loud Russ, what in the world happened to you?”

Russ replied, “I was in jail.”

“Jail?” cried Sam. “What in the world for?”

“Well,” Russ said, “you know Sue, that cute sexy little blonde waitress at the coffee shop where I sometimes go?”

“Yeah,” said Sam, “I remember her. What about her?”

“Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 89 years old, I was so proud that when I got into court, I pleaded ‘guilty’.”

“The damn judge gave me 30 days for lying under oath.”

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What Is Really Important

What Is Important

Xiao Li of Shenzhen, China spent a week in an internet cafe researching business opportunities. After going a week without sleep, he fell into a deep coma and remained in that state for over a year.

There was little hope for him to recover. But the magic of the human spirit endured within him. When a nurse waved a 100-yuan ($16 USD) bill under his nose, Li revived. The New York Post describes this perhaps apocryphal scene:

For months doctors searched for a way to awaken Li, but to no avail. It wasn’t until his family revealed what he loved most in the world that they found their key to success.

“We had asked his family what really drove him, and they were very clear that it was money,” Tang said. “When we learned about his fondness for money, we experimented with notes and change.

“Memories of smell and sound can be very powerful stimulants,” he added. “We found that a crisp, new 100 yuan note crumpled under his nose worked best.”

In the course of a human life, it often takes a great crisis to remind us of what’s really important.

Credit: NY Post article: Comatose man wakes up after nurses put cash under his nose!

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Act Of God?

Bar Marrakech

A new bar opened in the vicinity of a church.

The church was not happy about it and the entire congregation prayed regularly to have the business shut down.

Days later the bar was struck by lightning & caught fire which destroyed it.

The bar owner sued the church for damages.

The church denied all responsibility, forcing the judge to comment, “It’s a difficult case to decide because here we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer & on the other hand we have a church that wants nothing to do with it!”

Editor’s note: This is obviously a joke but there is a comedy film based on a similar idea: The Man Who Sued God

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