The Haircut

Haircut
One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, she asked about his bill, and the barber replied, ‘I cannot accept money from you, I’m doing community service this week.’ The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, ‘I cannot accept money from you , I’m doing community service this week.’ The cop was happy and left the shop.

The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Then a politician came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, ‘I can not accept money from you. I’m doing community service this week.’ The politician was very happy and left the shop.

The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen politicians lined up waiting for a free haircut.

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Credits:There are many versions of this joke on the internet. We used the one that we found here.

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What Would You Like Them To Say?

Funeral

What would you have your loved ones say at your funeral?


Three friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in heaven. They are all asked, “When you are in your casket and friends and family are talking about you, what would you like them to say?

The first guy says,”I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man.”

The second guy says, “I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow.”

The last guy replies, “I would like to hear them say … Look, He’s Moving!

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Ever Wondered Why?

Wonder Why


Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens our skin?

Why women can’t put on mascara-
with their mouth closed?

Why are they called apartments,
when they are all stuck together?

Why is ‘abbreviated’ such a long word?

Continue reading

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Ticket Please!

Ticket Please
Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket. ”How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks an accountant.

”Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer.

All of them board the train.The accountants take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, “Ticket, please.”

The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The accountants saw this and agreed it was a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don’t buy a ticket at all. ”How are you going to travel without a ticket?” says one perplexed accountant.

”Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer.

When they board the train the three accountants cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, “Ticket, please.”

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How Would You Grade This Student?

What Grade Would You Give
Q: In which battle did Napoleon die?
A: His last battle

Q: Where was the Declaration of Independance signed?
A: At the bottom of the page

Q: What is the main reason for divorce?
A: Marriage

Q: Can you go 100 days without sleeping?
A: No problem, just sleep at night!

Q: Can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A: No problem, if you can find an elephant that has one hand, I can lift him!

Q: If it took eight men three hours to build a wall. How long would it take four men to build it?
A: No time at all, the wall is already built.

Q: How do you drop an egg on the concrete floor without cracking it?
A: Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack!

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