Grandma Goes To Court

GrandmaIn a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know me?’

She responded, ‘Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a big shot when you haven’t the brains to realize you’ll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.’

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?’

She again replied, ‘Why yes, I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He’s lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can’t build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.’

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, ‘If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I’ll send you both to the electric chair.’

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Viral Communication

Viral Communication
What is the best way to communicate virally in this modern world of technology?

Telegraph?
No!

Telephone?
No!

Television?
No!

Tell-a-woman!

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Oh English!

Oh English

A Tourist Spot in Gujarat, India.

The English language is evolving and spreading. Just like the English of the middle ages would be unrecognizable today, the English that will be spoken next century will be much different from what we hear today. Why? Thanks to the millions for whom English is a second language and are now embracing it. The purist may frown at this, but we might as well have some fun while it is happening. If you were visiting the western state of Gujarat in India here is what you will find:

In an Ahmedabad hotel:
“Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read this notice.”

In a Baroda hotel elevator:
“The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.”

In a Surat hotel lobby:
“Please leave your values at the front desk.” Continue reading

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The All Powerful Guru?

The All Powerful Guru

Reposted with permission from Joseph Boquiren.

Joseph Boquiren is a yoga instructor, artist, and storyteller. He is the indentured servant to Samadhi Pants, the weekly cartoon about our sometimes humorous quest to gain enlightenment. He is also the author of WingWars, the graphic novel that chronicles the adventures of an elite cadre of fighter pilots set in the InterWar years. He spends about 30-40 hours a week with his nose in a drawing pad. When he does come up for air, he likes to ride bikes, skate (both ice and inline) and enjoys a cup of coffee or four in the company of other human beings.

He is also a registered architect although recently he hasn’t had much opportunity to practice this profession. Occasionally, he may pause to gaze up longingly at the odd building or two before returning to his senses and moving on. In addition to flexing his drawing fingers, Joseph can be found teaching Yoga. You can follow Joseph on Twitter as well as on Facebook.

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The Lonely Brain Cell

Lonely Brain CellOnce upon a time there was a female brain cell that by mistake happened to end up in a man’s head.

She looked around nervously but it was all empty and quiet. “Hello?” she cried, but no answer.

“Is there anyone here?” she cried a little louder, but still no answer.

Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and again she yelled: “HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE!!?”

Then she heard a voice from far, far away:

“Hello! We’re down here…”

Source: Unknown. Came to us via e-mail.

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