Dear Math

Dear Math

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Wrong Side!

Wrong Side
A guy goes into the confessional box.

He finds on one wall awfully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest Cuban cigars.

Then the priest comes in.

“Father, forgive me, for it’s been a long time since I’ve been to confession, but I must first say that the confessional box is much more inviting these days.”

The priest replies, “Get out! You’re on my side!”

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An Encounter With A Genie?

Genie as dollar sign
Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.

Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.

The husband shouted , “I warned you to be careful! Now we’ll have apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us.”

So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door.

A warm voice said, “Come on in.” When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window.

A man reclining on the couch asked, “Are you the people that broke my window?”

“Uh…yeah, sir. We’re sure sorry about that,” the husband replied.

“Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I’m a genie, and I’ve been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you’ve released me, I’m allowed to grant three wishes. I’ll Give you each one wish, but if you don’t mind, I’ll keep the last one for myself.” Continue reading

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Fuzzy Math?

Simple question: If you divide 25 by 5 how much do you get? If you think it is 5 think again!

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99% Of Lawyers Give The Rest A Bad Name

A picture of a lawyer holding up a file
If you`re not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he`s the comic who once said: “I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen… and replaced by exact duplicates.” His mind sees things differently from most of us, to our amazement and amusement. Here are some of his gems:

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.

All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend, but she left me before we met.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. Continue reading

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