Phoenix
The rescue organization got a cat about 2 months ago, the type of cat it hurts your heart to see come in … because she is so ugly, I feel she will languish with us for months unadopted. She had been found when some abandoned building caught fire … I don’t have the whole story, but they named her Phoenix. When she came in, she was very skinny, and had a litter of kittens with her. She was a very good mom. Just ugly.
All of her kittens (who did not look at all like her, at least she has good taste in men) were quickly adopted. Then there was a batch of scared little kittens who’s mother hadn’t made it, and we put Phoenix with these kittens. She was the best foster mother in the world. The kittens flourished under her care, came out of their shells. She cleaned them, cuddled them, even let them play nurse. These kittens, now playful and not at all shy anymore, were quickly adopted.
Then we had a cage full of mismatched kittens, leftovers from various litters who hadn’t gotten adopted with their brothers or sisters, for mysterious reasons. We put them all in with Phoenix, and again, she took on the role of foster mom with an amazing loving heart. Until this third batch was all adopted.
Poor Phoenix had at this point been cooped up in our cages for weeks. Someone stepped up and volunteered to take her home for a few weeks, just to give her a break. A few days ago, Phoenix came back to us to go back “on display” in the hopes of getting her adopted. Back in the cage. All the kittens we have now are with their own moms, so Phoenix was put in with another adult female to keep each other company.
Phoenix and her roommate got along like 2 cats in a cage. Meaning, they tried to ignore each other, and when they couldn’t they did a little hissing. Phoenix slept in one enclosure, Timber in another one. They pretended that there wasn’t an opening between them.
This morning Timber was sick. I don’t know why, the vet hadn’t looked at her before I left for the day. But she felt very bad. I had her out for a little bit, and she was very lethargic. I had Phoenix out for a bit and she got alot of petting and a little play. Then I put them both back in to let some other cats roam around while we waited for the vet visit.
When I went back to check on Timber, there she was, lying very listlessly on her blanket … and there was Phoenix, sitting very close to her, watching over her. Never have Phoenix and Timber been in the same part of their enclosure, unless they were passing thru. But Phoenix knew Timber was unwell, and she was keeping vigil.
I looked at her, and realized, she was special, she was a healer cat. It does not matter if she is cute, it does not matter what I think of her, it does not matter if anyone comes along and adopts her or not (tho someone will eventually.) What matters to Phoenix is just doing the next loving important thing in each moment.
I pulled up a stool and sat watching them, talking, keeping vigil with Phoenix. Timber didn’t really look up. Phoenix didn’t move from her spot. But the whole time, Phoenix was looking into my eyes, like she knew something, like she had something to tell me.
I couldn’t begin to articulate what I felt passed between me and Phoenix. Cats don’t use language, it was a message beyond language. But part of it, if I clumsily put it into words, was something I have been wrestling with.
What is my worth in this world? What is my work? Can I make a difference, even if I am small, unimportant, bland, even sometimes look ugly or useless in others eyes?
Phoenix says yes, you can touch others, you can bear witness, you can love those who come your way and are put in the same enclosure with you. You don’t have become a doctor, to travel to Africa and save whole villages (tho it sure is great some people have that ability, isn’t it?) But you don’t have to feel useless if you are not that doctor, that politician, that beloved teacher, that amazing artist, any of those people you so admire. You do not have to be beautiful, or bright, or the best at anything.
You just have to be willing to ignore any labels, and be the best lover to those around you you can be.
This is a post written by Kavindra and has been reposted with permission. You can find the original post here. You can find Kavindra blogging at A Clear Path To Happy
You may also like: A Cracked Pot