Nelson Mandela
1. Forgiveness
After spending more than 27 years in jail, Nelson Mandela walked out of prison for the last time at the age of 72. By all accounts he should have been angry and bitter. Even before his 27 years in prison he had spent many years in and out of jail and on the run. The authorities had used all possible means to break his spirit including not allowing him to attend his son’s and mom’s funeral. For 27 years he was increasingly isolated from his countrymen with no access to even a newspaper. The cell where he spent most of his 27 years was so small that it was barely big enough to hold this big man.
The South African regime ruled by brutally terrorizing the majority population. It was easy for the majority blacks to hate the regime. Indeed when he began negotiating with the regime after his release and talking about the idea of reconciliation there was tremendous opposition within the ANC. The rivalries and power struggle within the ANC were intense and at times it seemed that the perception that he had “sold out” was so dominant that he thought he would lose leadership of the ANC. But Nelson Mandela never wavered. He held fast as he knew that anger and bitterness would destroy the country.
Forgiveness is never easy. We can always find reasons why we are justified in not forgiving. But just as was the case for South Africa, where lack of forgiveness would have destroyed the country, forgiveness is rarely a choice. It is the bitter pill that we must swallow to not be consumed by anger and hatred. But just like Nelson Mandela emerged stronger with forgiveness, so can we.
2. Its not personal
Forgiveness does not fall into our lap out of the sky. The first act of forgiveness happens when we stop taking things personally. Nelson Mandela could have easily taken it personally. When history thrust him on to the center stage he could have used this moment to get back at the people who had mistreated him. But he instead chose to view things in a different light. Rather than take what happened to him personally he chose to view events from a broader historic perspective. That made it easier for him to forgive.
We must learn from this. Rather than viewing our hurt and pain as something that was inflicted upon us intentionally, we must also look at it impersonally, as something that mortals do to each other given the circumstances. It is when we are able to entertain such thoughts then we can begin to experience the release that forgiveness can bring about.
3. Stand firm but willingness to understand
When Nelson Mandela was young he was volatile and angry, but later he became calm and unflappable. Nelson Mandela changed a lot during his 27 years in prison. He slowly learnt to see things from different perspectives. Earlier he was a firebrand with hardened views. Now he learnt to see things from different angles. He learnt to accept that it was not always cut and dry and the world was nuanced with shades of grey.
But in his core values he was unwilling to change. He was offered conditional freedom at least two times, but he refused. There is much to be said for this stubbornness, this willingness to stand up for our core values but at the same time to look at the world with open eyes and without judgment.
4. Let go
On May 10th 1994 Nelson Mandela was Inaugurated as the first black president of the Republic of South Africa. In his Inauguration speech he announced that he would not be running for another term. This was a stunning moment that turned him from just another politician to one of history’s greats.
It is amazing that we recognize Mandela more for what he let go rather than what he accomplished. He let go his anger at being imprisoned. He let go of power and not run for President again. He was also able to let go the pain and frustration of two failed marriages and marry again at the age of 80. And he let go of the pain of deaths of his children and grand children and yet be happy again.
It is through smartness and luck that we are able to accumulate. But it is only through wisdom that we can let go. Let us hold Nelson Mandela’s life as a beacon to help us when our hands tremble as we let go.
5. Humor
Richard Stengel collaborated with Nelson Mandela on his autobiography “Long Walk to Freedom”. In an interview Stengel recalled how he and Mandela would go out early morning on these long walks. Inevitably they would end up in a small village. “He’d give a speech somewhere at some little village. No one spoke English there. He spoke in Xhosa. Nelson has a wonderful sense of humor in English, but when he was speaking to the people in Xhosa, it was as though there was a comedian up there. They were laughing. They were rolling in the aisles just all the time, and I always thought there is a different personality that he has speaking in Xhosa than speaking in English.”
Nelson Mandela had at this point been through a lot. More than 27 years in prison, two failed marriages, deaths of children and grand children, but he never lost his humor. So why should we? When we take ourselves too seriously then humor goes out of our lives. But when we can make fun of ourselves and see the lighter side of things, that’s when our humility shines forth. What made Nelson Mandela great was that though he was well respected and had achieved a lot, he nevertheless always remained humble and approachable, and he never lost his humor. If we take away no other lesson from Mandela’s life, this one lesson would be enough.
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Credits:This has been written by Raj Shah and edited by Ketna Shah.
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