A saint was visiting a river to take bath when he ran into a group of family members shouting in anger at each other. After they left the area he turned to his disciples and asked, “Why do people in anger shout at each other?”
His disciples thought for a while then one of them said, “Because we lose our calm, we shout.”
“But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner?” asked the saint.
Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other disciples.
Finally the saint explained, “When two people are angry at each other, the distance between their heart grows This happens because they are now expressing themselves through their ego. The ego has been hurt and they want to retaliate back and return the hurt. With all these hurt feelings, the hearts have moved apart and to cover the increased distance they must now shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover the increasingly growing distance between their hearts.”
“What happens when two people fall in love? They don’t shout at each other but talk softly or whisper. Their egos are out of the way and this allows their hearts to come very close and love to bloom. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small. When they love each other even more, what happens? There is no need even to whisper, mere looks suffice.”
The saint continued, “So when you argue be careful. Are you arguing from the ego? You will know it if you find yourself speaking loudly and have hurt feelings inside. If you allow that to happen often you will let your hearts grow distant. Soon a day will come when the distance is so great that you may not find the path to return. It helps to remember that the word anger is just one letter short of the word danger. It is not that anger is an inappropriate emotion. It is only when it is expressed through the ego in a loud and inappropriate way with an intention to hurt the other person, does it become dangerous and counterproductive.”
Related: A Gift Not Accepted
